well I'm completely done trying to recover! I had a good run though I'd say 3 years at "half-assed recovery". Decent right!? Well sorr, but that's as good as I can do, I was never really better and never will be so I might as well just get serious again do it right! As scared and sad as I am I'm equally excited...

Excited to be skinny excited to have my secret (this time I won't tell a soul), and excited to have my confidence and control back again! Life is looking up!

Today...
B: nada
L :Bagel sando, pear
D: nada

I am having the worst time with this...

I feel like its all mental but I'm so overwhelmed! I don't know why my intensity can be so high sometimes and then dead others.

Right now I feel huge... yet no weight has changed but I am going to LOSE IT... if i don't drop some serious weight ASAP. It's frustrating because I've done it before I know what to do but I cant seem to follow through... any jump start help... for now I'll go with my go--to.... WATER. I'll slowly get back on track i guess. Sorry for the rant just really struggling right now, anyone wanna talk hit me up!

xo.